My Relationship with God

Today I kind of want to talk about my faith in God and what it means to me. I think I honestly every single day that I think about my faith for so many years I have prayed to God for a lot of things to happen in my life and some prayers have been answered while other have not. So what does that mean to a lot of people when they feel that God isn’t there maybe God doesn’t exist those are some of the questions that a lot of people including myself might ask.
When I look up into the sky and just recently I see all these galaxies all these areas that are so beautiful and so many places that we can go and who’s to say that these galaxies out there is part of what God has created to be heaven to live in a world that it’s free from pain suffering and happiness all the way around.
When I was in my coma I can remember many times me praying to God almost every day so it seemed I was scared I felt all alone and yet I felt God’s presence and me as I’ve never had before then again what does that mean is God in my heart it’s in me is it surrounded by me is he here I just don’t know I want to feel that he’s here with me I want to be like every other Christian but it’s so hard for me to feel the spirit of God like they have walking around carefree without anything it seems to bring them down.
I remember a story not long ago where this woman had gone to the store at Christmas time to pick up some groceries that she had forgotten, when she left her family little did she know that that was the last time she’d ever see her family alive because while she was at the store a major fire broke out in her house telling her husband and her three children and just to think how devastating that would be, and yet when I heard her speak at Church of this story I sat there and I asked myself how could she be so humble, how could she still have so much love for Jesus, I would just sit there in disbelief.
I don’t claim to have all the answers, I’m not the best parent in the world, I’m not the type of person that can be so mean to people and not care about their feelings, and I don’t want to see anybody hurt, I don’t want to know if someone is in pain because for some reason I feel that pain in that person and I just don’t even know how to react to it because human life is so precious and people’s feelings are even more precious, and sometimes I feel myself being over critical of others and I don’t know why I do this.
How devoted am I to God? I am not sure sometimes but I do know this when my mother passed away the night that she passed away I sat beside the bed all alone with my mother holding her hand and I said to myself she finally got her to wish she went to sleep and she died in her sleep which I’ve mentioned before and my other blogs. Was I sad at the time when she passed, of course, I was but for some reason, I was so happy for her that she was going to be in a place where I knew she would be OK, my mother wasn’t going to suffer anymore, she was going to get to be with her mother her father her sister and her brother, so how could I be so selfish and weep over my mother because she went to a much better place I was very happy for her and that’s why I couldn’t cry.
Today I sit here on Thanksgiving and I am so thankful for everything in my life I’m thankful for my children and my grandchildren I’m thankful for the people whom I work for the friends that I have and my family. I have so much to be thankful for and yet sometimes I wonder if God is here in my prayers but yet I know he is, I just don’t know what life has in store for me, at any time your life could be taken away from you and so do you want to take the chance of not knowing God, that’s something that I don’t wish on anybody create your relationship with God don’t let anybody come between them because it’s your relationship and nobody else’s.
Right now I see the world and it seems like it’s falling apart things that I’ve read out of the Bible are starting to take place, I have talked to other Christians from many different places in the world and it seems to me that everybody has their own opinions about the end of times about the second coming of Christ. When you read in revelations about the end of times what’s going to happen and you line everything up it just seems like to me it’s that time that it’s going to be the end of the world and we’re going to all be able to go to heaven at one time just not one at a time.
How there’s a person who reads the Bible all of the time have their interpretation of things to come, isn’t it written in the Bible that we’re supposed to follow everything and yet it’s God’s word, we all can interpret the Bible in so many different ways but again I ask you what is the true meaning of God’s word if everybody interprets the Bible differently and that is something that puzzles me, but I know that God wants us to follow him and yet gives us the free will to interpret that Bible the way we see it. I just don’t know I get so confused at times but I do know that I’m a follower of God, there’s going to come a day when I will stop the four Jesus and I will be judged and he will put his arms around me and here we’ll say welcome go be with your family.