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Helping Others

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Throughout my whole life I have always tried to help people as much as I can. There has been times that help that I supply works great, and of course there are times when my help fails, and over the past few months I have really learned a very valuable lesion in life. You cannot help those who won’t help themselves. Really that comment came from Norman Gee, my daughters Grandfather.

hands-300x240I remember one day while working in his garage we were talking about people who need help sometimes and he said to me, “You can’t help anyone that won’t help themselves” man those words dealt a huge impact in my life, and I am pretty sure that over time and over the years I would learn more about the meaning of those words.

It is true though if you think about it. You can’t help anyone that is not ready to be helped, and that means in everyday walk of life. Take a homeless person on the streets, if you give them money, they are going to continue to come back every day, and put their hand out, but if you show them how they can help themselves then that might be something else to think about, how can you help someone that really doesn’t know how to help themselves? Yeah I know that sounds bad, and might not make any sense to many, but the facts are the facts.

You cannot help anyone that doesn’t know how to help themselves and you cannot help anyone that won’t help themselves. Sounds almost the same doesn’t it. What I learned is that you and offer people help and they will take it as long as they do not have to change their life style, but the second you try to change that person’s personality you have already lost unless they are ready for change.

Take for example: Not long ago I took in my daughter’s friend, and she came to me asking for help, she wanted to turn her life around; she wanted to live a better life for her and her daughter. I at first had no idea how I was going to change her life, but I knew from my own experience and by using that as a tool I might be able to help this young lady. It didn’t take me long though to realize after she moved in, that although she said she wanted to make changes in her life, she was not mentally ready, and was not willing to make the changes that were important, and before long within a few weeks, I knew that this arrangement was not going to last long and she ended moving back out as quickly as she moved in.

What did I learn from this, well, I did learn that the phrase: “You cannot help someone that won’t help themselves” is a true statement. I tried, but I could never blame her for not being ready, and over time I do feel that she will grow up and see what it was that I was trying to change, she might not ever see it, but I do know that it was a learning experience for me, and that was I cannot help those who are not ready.

The Grass is Always Greener

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greener-grass-300x214They say “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” reason why? Because the grass always greener over a septic tank and what is in a septic tank! Nothing but crap! So stay on your side of the fence your grass might not be the greenest but at least you know what is beneath.

The Loss of my Best Friend

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I am going to write this right now because it is fresh in my mind and I don’t want to lose this memory. Some people might think that losing an animal is just a part of life and that we should never get that attached. Some people might think that people are crazy to love an animal and they should just get over it.

Robert Woonacott
A Friend that will last a life time.

This morning on October 2, 2012 I lost the best friend a man like me could ever hope for. In 2001 I was involved in a very terrible accident and I suffered post-Traumatic Stress disorder and fell into a great depression. I was being treated by a doctor and over time my life seemed to get more and more lessor to deal with and in 2002 I had tried to commit suicide, and again in early 2003 this is something that my daughter had never known about but I am sure she saw the pain I was in at this time. In the middle of summer in 2003 Elizabeth brought this tiny little black and white kitten to me, and begged me to let her keep him, at first I was not at all ready to have any animal in my life, but after she handed him to me and he started to bit me and attack me, I wanted to keep him too, and first Elizabeth named him Princess because we both thought he was a girl, but then later on we found out in fact he was a boy and he took on the name of Patches.

Patches changed everything in my life, we made me laugh again, and smile, and I started to look forward to waking up when before I dreaded it. I remember him always by my side, and slept with me all the time, ate with me and he would lie on my desk while I worked. Patches was my healing cat, and every day I started to get stronger and stronger and my will to live became more and more apparent. Not a lot of people know this, but Patches saved my life. Even in my darkest moments of my sickness he was there for me, and a friend and a companion. It wasn’t long after he was with me that I started not to need to seek help anymore, I was able to get off my medication, and start to live a normal life, and as much as it is hard to believe, it was Patches that was there the whole time.

Patches was about 9 years old and he gave me the best nine years of a true friend. This morning when I found him lying next to where I normally work, by my side and I looked down and discovered he was gone it seemed that my whole life just was ripped away in just a moment. My boy was gone, and I want my Patches back so much! I was on my knees crying and then picked him up in my arms and just held him and cried out to God why this had to happen to me, why you took my Patches away. I have never in my whole life cared for an animal more then I cared for this guy. My world was shattered and then came the hardest part and that was to let go and to call my daughter Elizabeth, and break the news to her. Again the tears flowed, and my heart was broken into a million pieces. When liz came into the door we both cried together and said our goodbyes, and Jody, Darci, And Elizabeth all went to the Vet, and to make the finial journey with my best friend. While in the car by myself my heart again started breaking down and the memory of him lying on the floor came back into my mind, and I spoke to him.

Patches my friend I want to thank you for everything you had done for me and thanking for being there when I needed you most. I will miss you for the rest of my life and you will be close to me as you were before. I love you Patches, and a friend to a friend, you are my brother, and my friend.

As I close this, I want to say one last thing. I know Patches wouldn’t want me to be sad, and so with that the memory of him will always be with me. I am so glad and thankful for all the memories you gave to me Patches, Mr. Man, Master P. I love you and miss you so much.

My Daughter Elizabeth

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As a father I am challenged everyday with new things that I cannot fully understand. I love my baby girl and I can only hope and pray that she will make the right decisions. She will be 18 soon and at this moment in her mind she says that after she is 18 she is going to do whatever she wants, she can leave when she wants, stay out as late as she wants, and just do whatever. It is hard for me to just let go and turn the other way and let this happen.

My heart at this moment is broken and feels like the worst is yet to come.  I know that she is a good person, I know she has great morals, great upbringing so why do I feel so empty and feel that the world is falling down under my feet. Is it possible that maybe there is something that I have forgotten.

Her mother told me, “Rob we can only pray and hope that she will take our advice and our teachings and use them well” I myself feel that just maybe that can happen.

Saying Goodbye

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I am moments from leaving home to come to your furneral, and this is something that I am not looking forward to at all because not only do I see my best friends father who has gone on to heaven but I am also seeing my father who took me into his home, who once saved my life and brought me back from certin death. Stan I owe you more then what you may think and am so sorry I was not there for you when you needed me to be. I am going to miss you so much, and today I am going to say my goodbyes, and see you for the last time. I won’t remember you as the person who is laying their, but I will remember your deep voice, and your kindness you show me throughout the years. I will remember you living and free from any pain. I will always remember you as one of my father figures in my life.