Throughout my whole life I have always tried to help people as much as I can. There has been times that help that I supply works great, and of course there are times when my help fails, and over the past few months I have really learned a very valuable lesion in life. You cannot help those who won’t help themselves. Really that comment came from Norman Gee, my daughters Grandfather.
I remember one day while working in his garage we were talking about people who need help sometimes and he said to me, “You can’t help anyone that won’t help themselves” man those words dealt a huge impact in my life, and I am pretty sure that over time and over the years I would learn more about the meaning of those words.
It is true though if you think about it. You can’t help anyone that is not ready to be helped, and that means in everyday walk of life. Take a homeless person on the streets, if you give them money, they are going to continue to come back every day, and put their hand out, but if you show them how they can help themselves then that might be something else to think about, how can you help someone that really doesn’t know how to help themselves? Yeah I know that sounds bad, and might not make any sense to many, but the facts are the facts.
You cannot help anyone that doesn’t know how to help themselves and you cannot help anyone that won’t help themselves. Sounds almost the same doesn’t it. What I learned is that you and offer people help and they will take it as long as they do not have to change their life style, but the second you try to change that person’s personality you have already lost unless they are ready for change.
Take for example: Not long ago I took in my daughter’s friend, and she came to me asking for help, she wanted to turn her life around; she wanted to live a better life for her and her daughter. I at first had no idea how I was going to change her life, but I knew from my own experience and by using that as a tool I might be able to help this young lady. It didn’t take me long though to realize after she moved in, that although she said she wanted to make changes in her life, she was not mentally ready, and was not willing to make the changes that were important, and before long within a few weeks, I knew that this arrangement was not going to last long and she ended moving back out as quickly as she moved in.
What did I learn from this, well, I did learn that the phrase: “You cannot help someone that won’t help themselves” is a true statement. I tried, but I could never blame her for not being ready, and over time I do feel that she will grow up and see what it was that I was trying to change, she might not ever see it, but I do know that it was a learning experience for me, and that was I cannot help those who are not ready.